dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Randomize
