cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
