I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Randomize
