i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
