Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Randomize
