Will you blow on my dice?
Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize
