I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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