It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
