.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
