he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
His hands were made for my vagina.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Randomize
