FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Randomize
