Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
We need to get me chipped asap
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
