Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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