We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
