What a fucking waste of an outfit
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Randomize
