My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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