8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Randomize
