I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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