she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
tell me about the fingering
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
