ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
