Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Randomize
