My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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