Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
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