Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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