Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
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