i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
What a fucking waste of an outfit
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
They have beer where we have blood.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Randomize
