With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
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