that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
