I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
