The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
