and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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