I feel like I'm in dance class right now
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
