tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
