Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy�
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Randomize
