She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
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