Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
