I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
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