Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
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