I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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