thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Randomize
