Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Randomize
