Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Randomize
