Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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