she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
