Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I look better un-naked...
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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