i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
