I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
