Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Randomize
