Don't you send me to vm
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
