So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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